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VOLUNTEER FOR A 2017 DINODIG AT YOUR CONVENIENCE

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p4skeleton.jpg
THIS Is What We Are Looking For. Not A Cow. Not A Horse. THIS. And Yet, Every Year We Get Cow Bones

but send the money today


Adventure! Fun! Excitement!!
NONE of the headline above applies if you are interested in participating in a C4CS DinoDig! Take a look at what some of our former volunteers have to say about their non-educational times on site:
"It's f-f-f-f-freezing c-c-c-cold!!!!!"
"Holy @!*#, it's so ungodly #@*! HOT!!!!!"
"It never stops raining!"
"It's so dry my eyeballs are chapped."
"Do you.. have any... food? We've been... surviving... on sunscreen-soup... for two weeks."
"I can't feel my feet!"
"Mommy!"
"I see a light..."

NOT ENOUGH TO SCARE YOU?
Then read on and fill out our online volunteer application now!

With the click of a mouse you can now volunteer for an official Center for Cretaceous Studies DinoDig! WOWZERS! Not only do we have live Dinosaurs, but some... ok, a few, of our field experts actually dig for the bones of The Ancients themselves. We need these bones in order to continue our rarely expert and often mistaken scientific studies.

Well, all that plus do you have ANY idea what one of these bones go for?!?

It's easy to volunteer. It's much more difficult to get out of it. Right now you're only a few questions - and one hefty cashier's check or money order - away from being considered to join us on an amazing adventure. Or if that amazing adventure isn't available, you can join us on a DinoDig. Just fill in the form below and email it to us. Or download the PDF, print it out and mail it to us. Once your check clears you just might hear from us!

Thanks, and we hope to see your check, er, see YOU here soon!

OFFICIAL APPLICATION FOR C4CS DINODIG 2017
Name:_______________________________________________
Nickname: __________________________________________
Who You Pretend To Be Online: ______________________
Email Address: ______________________________________
Fmail Address: ______________________________________
Street Address or Prison Cell Number:
_____________________________________________________
City or Village: ______________________________________
State or Province: ___________________________________
Planet or Moon: __________________________________ __

Please circle one.
1. For some reason, I want to volunteer for a C4CS DinoDig, and I'm pretty sure I'm not insane (regular or criminally)
Y N Huh?

2. I realize there may be (some, a few, a ton of) legal boundaries crossed from time to time, or (maybe, most likely) ALL the time. Y N

3. I have my own hammer.
Y N Whats a hammer?

4. My previous camping experience:
a) Girl Scouts
b) I unknowingly fell out of bed once and slept on the floor all night
c) At times I can spell "kamping" correctly
d) Once I mistakenly watched a camping show on cable

4. Are you allergic to intense radioactivity? Y N

5. Are you going to pay upfront?
Y

6. I will bring all items related to living outdoors for an extended amount of time: Food, Water, Toiletries, Video Games, SUV with A/C, Tent or Trailerhome, Beer and Cooler(s). I acknowledge that the Center for Cretaceous Studies will provide only the following item: air. Y N

7. My previous "Dig" experience:
a) I have an indoor plant
b) We buried the pet hamster two years ago
c) I get a lot of ear wax
d) I once saw a picture of a shovel

8. How did you hear about the C4CS DinoDig?
a) Via international media coverage of last year's disaster, er, expedition
b) Scribbled on public restroom wall
c) Typed in this website address by mistake
d) A DinoWhat?

9. What dates are you planning to attend the DinoDig?
a) Yesterday
b) Soon
c) Once the coast is clear
d) As soon as I make bail
e) I don't know. I have to do my hair that day.

10. How long do you plan to attend the DinoDig?
a) Less than twenty minutes, including time spent finding a parking spot
b) I'm still here from last year
c) Until the Statue of Limitations runs out
d) Right up to the point when the 40-ft. electric fences go down

Please fill out this form completely and email or mail it to the Center for Cretaceous Studies. Include your Money Order, Cashier's check, or credit card number to cover processing and uh, handling... in the amount of $84,745.18.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Huh? There isn't? Oh... uh, guess not. Well, we could offer you three easy, low, low, low payments of only $31,485.25 and if you hurry we might throw in a Thank You note - possibly with your name on it!
Check your local lottery odds for that ever happening

As soon as tC4CS Board of Directors has had time to review and file your application and donation, er, application fee and it clears our Swiss bank account, you just might hear from us.
don't hold yer breath, pal.

Thanks for applying! Good luck, sucker!


For More Bad Information, Or Just To Donate, Contact Us At CretaceouStudies@aol.com or CretaceouStudies@yahoo.com or CretaceouStudies@gmail.com TODAY!

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