for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|WE HATE IT WHEN THEY PLAY IN TRAFFIC
|They Never Pay Attention To Traffic Signals
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [tC4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
Our Indoor Paddocks [IPs] are now empty since we've just moved the animals next door to Cretaceousland! where they will be
staying outdoors throughout the warm summer months. Well, most of the time anyways, we hope.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs.
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located near Chicago, Illinois, is home to over 158 species*
- we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ, QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 23 JULY 2016 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,321 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
TOURIST LAUNCHES BARRAGE OF COMPLAINTS AGAINST CENTER
He Didn't Know His Family Would Be Eaten
Recovering in his hospital bed at CFI Care, former visitor Ronald Lump began launching a barrage of parting shots at The Center
for Cretaceous Studies, refusing to endorse The Center as a 'not too terrible' place to visit, getting Lump booed off the
Life Flight helicopter and into a slower ambulance back in June.
The vindictive verbal onslaught laid bare Lump's simmering anger at The Center, who brought his family of 5 to The Center
on a Wednesday when they walked in very cheerful and ended it mostly in body bags after he refused to believe there really
were carnivorous DinoResidents living here.
“I like Dinosaurs, they're fine,” Lump said between breathing from tubes in an ad-libbed press conference
from his bed in the ICU. “I don’t need to endorse that place. If they give me a free admission ticket, I will
not accept it.”
Lump said if The Center had more warning signs, it may have brightened his former family vacation spot's future prospects
for telling friends and coworkers about it.
"They should have done it," Lump said about placing more warning signs. "They would have been in better shape, legally."
Added C4CS's Legal Department, headed by Gil T. Azell: "Oh yeah? He's got intellect, but he didn't use it. This is clearly
not a good place to bring a family, or to come here on your own. Or to think about coming here."
The C4CS Legal Department then handed out half-price admission tickets to members of the media.
Read the REAL story: Trump buries bitter rival Cruz in farewell to Cleveland
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
Best Seller [here] Could Easily Become Blockbuster Movie [out there], Says Guy With Huge Tub Of Popcorn
Here it is! Now in print and also available as an eBook, the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies can be
purchased from AuthorHouse, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of
book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback is for sale from all these fine bookstores listed
below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
NO! WAIT!!! CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO C4CS PREVIEW PAGE
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]