for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|NEW INTERN CLASSES BEGIN MONDAY!
|Be Part Of Our Family After Only 3 Lessons. Wait, You CAN Run, Right?
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [tC4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
Unfortunately for us, but GREAT for you, the DinoResidents are in their cozy and warm Indoor Paddocks [IPs] for the winter.
Well, most of the time anyways.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs.
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located near Chicago, Illinois, is home to over 158 species*
- we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated often, sometimes daily - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE LATEST BUZZ, QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 6 FEBRUARY 2016 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,321 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
SUPER BOWL TICKETS NEARLY AS EXPENSIVE AS THIS DUMP
They Get To Sit Down. Here You Lie Down... Forever
For a mere $3,000, you can attend the Super Bowl. For only 3-to-14 times that much you can see, smell, and run from, a live
DinoResident. Or so says C4CS Ticketing Supervisor Rick Etmastor.
That's the lowest price of a ticket to the big game on Sunday. It's also within a few hundred dollars of getting you a parking
spot here at The Center, according to Etmastor.
Prices are holding steady, said Etmastor at this morning's press conference featuring double chocolate doughnuts.
"We're demanding prices as low as stratospheric to get in, so we are talking only about $3850.62 to park - for a half-day.
We realize that's a lot of quarters to feed the meter, but those prices are hovering around normal. The average reaction we're
seeing ought to be posted on YerToob because prices go up to into the outer limits depending on levels of interest," Etmastor
The Center has already sold nearly 5 tickets this year, and it expects sales to reach 6 before Springtime, Etmastor guessed.
"We have not seen a lot of movement, which we have also never seen in the past at similar sales events. I don't know if
I expect it to go much longer," Etmastor said of the ticket sale prices.
To sweeten the pot, The Center for Cretaceous Studies is offering 25% off your first tourniquet to visitors shelling out the
bucks. The Center rented out eighty ambulances from nearby CFI Care as a show of... well, something. It sure can't
"This is actually an experience for any customer, so if you buy your ticket today, this is a gift to you back from us.
It's a little surprise and delight, and something we like to do for all of our fans," said Nadia Buleamee, The Center's
head of event marketing.
Read the REAL story: Super Bowl 50: StubHub's cheapest ticket for big game priced at $3,000
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]