for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|SALES DOWN 75000% SINCE LAST YEAR AT GIFTE $HOPPE
|Reason For Dismal Quarter Unknown, Says Guy Who Doesn't Have A Clue
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [tC4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
The animals [that is, the Dinosaurs, not our staff] are now in their Indoor Paddocks [IPs] for the 2016-17 winter. Now is
a GREAT time to visit The Center! Well, unless you have plans for a long life, that is.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs.
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 28 APRIL 2017 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,322 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
STEEL INDUSTRY MAKING COMEBACK THANKS TO CENTER
For Perimeter Fence Upgrade Seen As Key
The steel industry in the U.S. was hoping for a comeback after years of decline.
Following the latest order by the Center for Cretaceous Studies, industry insiders thought “Safety First”
focus would give a major boost to the sluggish industry.
But on Wednesday, bad news came: U.S.A. Steel, one of the largest steel companies in the tri-state area, got hammered when
officials at The Center stated they would consider the construction of a perimeter fence made entirely out of paper, and slashed
27 cents of the market value from the latest bid by U.S.A. Steel. The Center is a privately run, poorly managed, business.
The company has seen its perimeter fence steel prices jump after Donnie Tremp was elected Perimeter Fence Fund Supervisor
and announced major expansion plans.
“I think the focus this administration has put on attaining and on expanding something as important as a steel perimeter
fence, creates a chance for us also,” said Tremp, the company’s largest pro-fence backer.
Tremp launched trade talks with China and other exporters of cheap steel. He raised the possibility of new perimeter fencing
and launched an investigation into dependence on foreign steel for the fence.
“This investigation will look at how steel imports are impacting The Center's security – taking into account
DinoResident practices such as steel dumping,” Tremp said. “It's a tremendous problem in this company.
They're really hurting not only our fencing, but our tourists and nearby residents.”
Read the REAL story: Steel industry making comeback after years of decline
FIRST CALL GOES OUT FOR SPRING DINOMOVE VOLUNTEERS
Move To Feature Free Last Rites And Parking
Here it comes! The 2017 Spring DinoMove is Monday! Already Center for Cretaceous Studies office personnel are bringing in
champagne and party favors to celebrate the move on May 1. DinoMove Directors will meet this weekend to discuss where they
will be when the animals are moved from The Center to the outdoor Habitats [HABs] at Cretaceousland! for the summer.
Sign-up sheets for volunteers will be posted on the bulletin board outside C4CS Employee Cafeteria 2.
HERE IT IS!!!
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER
FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES!!
Most Likely THE BEST Live Dinosaur Research Institution Book Every
Written Without Typohs
NOW you can get your paperback or eBook, the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies from AuthorHouse, Amazon,
or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback only is for sale online from the fine bookstores
listed below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
NO! WAIT!!! CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO C4CS PREVIEW PAGE
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]