The CENTER for CRETACEOUS STUDIES

DECEMBER 2011 TRIPOD SITE OF THE MONTH
after a LOT of payola, blackmail and arm twisting

PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to please leave quietly

NOMINATED FOR "WORST CRETACEOUS ART THIEVES OF ALL TIME"
by many with absolutely no sense of humor

ATTENTION! ACHTUNG! AVISO! HEY! The DinoResidents have been moved outdoors for the summer. Visit the Cretaceousland! site for the latest news and information, now 33% true! It's easy! It's safe! mostly Just click on the link here.

Visit Cretaceousland!

WELCOME to the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] Dinosaur Research Facility website. At this site we'll show you the day-to-day operations, research, screaming and evacuating techniques practiced around the clock.

This is, without a doubt, the most unfluential website in the history of paleontology and Dinosaur Behaviorial Studies [aka: Dinosaur BS]. Also thankfully the ONLY place on Earth researching, investigating, studying, and running away from very real, very breathing, and very alive Dinosaurs.

At the Center for Cretaceous Studies we occasionally research and sometimes study the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. However, as the ONLY site in the world with eating, biting, living, biting, breathing, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down the hallway, so eh, we don't really care if we discover something or not.

Our record is incomparable to any museum, park, animal reserve, or shopping mall on the planet. Not only because our "residents" are actually live, meat-eating Dinosaurs that can and will eat you, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs that can and will bite, crunch, step on, devour, consume and eat you.

Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal or Spielberg. Even so, we thought it was better than our previous motto "You're Probably Going To Die Here".

Our Dinosaur Research Facility is set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting that would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens if not for the... well, you know whats. Numerous research buildings dot our campus grounds where scientific [or what qualifies around here as 'scientific'] study is constantly being postponed while funeral arrangements are being made. Inside these buildings, most of them seemingly constructed of reinforced styrofoam, is where all the damage is done, er... research is carried out, sometimes with only minor catastrophic results.

As a guest, visitor, visiting academician or mortician, you'll see DinoResearch as it happens! In fact we have several people on staff whose sole job is to walk around in white lab coats with pen-filled pocket protectors, saying things like "hmmmmm..." while carrying clipboards.

C4CS's Ultra Super Duper Top Secret Dinosaur Research Facility, in west suburban Chicago, Illinois, is home to over 142 species* - we think - and growing every year.

*Note: Most of our DinoCensus Pollsters have never returned, so we're kinda guessing at numbers.

We invite you to wade through this DinoSite and see what happens here every freakin' day. Then start planning your trip here and/or making funeral arrangements!

During the warmer summer months our DinoResidents reside outdoors, so click over to the Cretaceousland! site below, our outdoor DinoReserve. But before that, why not waste a little more of your precious life by looking over this site, dedicated to the research side of The Center for Cretaceous Studies? After which you can jump over to Cretaceousland! from several places throughout this site.

BOOKMARK! BOOKMARK!: We suggest you 'Bookmark' this site on your Favorites or your Bucket List as company news information (below) is updated often during the wintry months when the DinoResidents are here.
You don't want to miss any of the action... specially if for some insane reason you are actually planning to visit us in person!

Thanks for visiting, and we hope to see you here soon!
Please remember to bring proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type listed on separate piece of paper [in case the original is eaten].

NOTE: some - but not all it's too expensive of the photos on this site can be enlarged by clicking on them.

CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS

Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!

THE LATEST BUZZ, ILL-GOTTEN FACTS, ANCIENT NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
OK, MOSTLY RUMORS AND GOSSIP,
FROM THE C4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 28 MAY 2012 A.D.
AKA: 64,005,317 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET

PLEASE NOTE:
THIS COLUMN IS UPDATED ONLY ON A SPORADIC, SEMI- ONCE-IN-A-WHILE-IF-WE-REMEMBER-IT BASIS DURING THE SUMMER WHILE THE DINORESIDENTS ARE HOUSED OUTDOORS AT CRETACEOUSLAND!
For The Latest And Rumored Semi-Interesting Company News, Visit The Cretacesousland! Site By Clicking On The Link Below NOW

Why YES! I Do So Ever Want To Know What Is Going On!!

BEST MEMORIAL WEEK DEALS
Many Habitats Offering Cash Back - IF You Make It Back

Memorial Day week is one of the biggest holiday weeks for travelers to the Center for Cretaceous Studies and Cretaceousland!, but it's also when Habitat Supervisors and admission ticketing agents promote sales and discounts. If you're in the market for a life-threatening vacation, here are some Memorial Day week promotions you can get through Thursday, July 32.

This week, Habitat 18 launched a "no payments for 90 seconds" program. The program is good on the purchase of tickets for 6 minutes or more. The first minute and a half are free. The average 'visit expectancy' inside Habitat 18, home of the Tyrannosaurus family groups, is currently listed as 4 minutes 14 seconds. Good luck.

Habitat 31 is offering up to $750 in Memorial Day cash for anyone who makes it out of the Utahraptor Habitat without the need for emergency services. The cash offer is in addition to the discount ticket sales in this Habitat. For example, the 2012 ten minute ticket is currently available with zero-percent financing, and with the Memorial Day week cash, the cash could nearly pay for the parking.

At Habitat 44 a $750 cash back in Memorial Day week coupons is on top of most of its current ticket purchase deals. The coupons are good for nearly zero-percent off and incredibly high financing for five years on trinkets and junk from the C4CS Gifte $hoppe or $2 in cash plus $750 in Memorial Day coupons.

Habitat 53 is offering between $500 and $2,250 in Memorial Day week cash in addition to many of its ticket financing deals to anyone who loses only one arm or leg instead of all of them. For example, you can get $2,250 cash if each person in your group loses a leg or arm, or no-interest financing for five years for each ticket loan.

Habitat 79 is promoting its National Tent Event, which includes no-interest financing on some triage cots inside a big, pretty First Aid tent set up inside Hab79. You also get $5 in holiday bonus coupons if you are still breathing when you leave.

If you're in the market for a Memorial Day week to forget, this is the place to start those screaming-in-the-middle-of-the-night memories And remember, all visitors will receive a free smile with every 40% gratuity during the entire week.

Read More: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/best-memorial-day-car-deals-181016525.html

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A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]