for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|Rumors Are This Guy Was Here For 7 Minutes! Took Longer To Get The Raptor Off His Arm.
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [tC4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
The animals [that is, the Dinosaurs and not the staff], have been moved outdoors to their summer homes at Cretaceousland!.
Now is a GREAT time to visit The Center! During the summer season your chances of getting out of here alive go up by nearly
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs.
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 15 JULY 2017 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,322 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
LOCH NESS MONSTER SPOTTED?
Center Goes Into Immediate
LockDown. hahaha. Like We HAVE One Of Those Things
A 35-year-old man from Muckburger County, East Carolina has reportedly spotted a "dinosaur"-like, creature in a man-made
lake here at The Center.
The man, who wished to remain anonymous as soon as next of kin is notified, reported his findings to CryptoZoology.com, a
website that reports on strange occurences.
So, basically, CryptoZoology.com is full of reports from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. We get it, ok?
“I was on a boat with my friends,” the man told paramedics as he was being loaded into an ambulace.
“We where near the lake's main channel when we saw something splashing around in the water.”
While boating on the man-made Lake Death, the man, along with several of his friends spotted the creature, describing it as
“splashing around in the water." He noted it was around 30-feet-long and reminded him of the mythical Loch Ness
monster or maybe Puff The Magic Dragon. Kind of a toss-up. No photos were taken of the creature as it never stopped to pose,
and everyone had beer in their hands, not cell phones.
Lake Death is no stranger to unexplained sightings, with several people having said they have seen a creature that lives in
the water. A lot of those people say many of those creatures have other people in their mouths as they dive back into the
The lake was created between 1959 and 2019 [it's an on-going construction] as part of the construction of Cretaceousland!s
new water Habitat [HAB]. It is the largest man-made body of fresh water at Cretaceousland! after the stuck toilet in the Men's
Room just outside HAB63.
The creature has even been dubbed Hippo, a play on the famed, yet unfounded name of the Hungry, Hungry Hippo board game. The
name is also so stupid no one uses it.
Several people have vanished in recent months, with descriptions from their friends and families ranging all over the place.
One man said he was knocked off his boat after a huge force and spotted a 25-foot "Nessie-like sea monster" swimming
away. Another witness said he and his girlfriend saw a creature, "at least 14-ft long," from their Jet Ski in June.
Honest, we have NO idea what they are talking about.
Read the REAL story: Loch Ness Monster redux? 'Dinosaur-like-creature' reportedly spotted in North Carolina lake
HERE IT IS!!!
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER
FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES!!
Most Likely THE BEST Live Dinosaur Research Institution Book Every
Written Without Typohs
NOW you can get your paperback or eBook, the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies from AuthorHouse, Amazon,
or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback only is for sale online from the fine bookstores
listed below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
NO! WAIT!!! CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO C4CS PREVIEW PAGE
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