for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS
|The C4CS Versions Are MUCH Tastier
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [tC4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
The animals [that is, the Dinosaurs and not the staff], have been moved outdoors to their summer homes at Cretaceousland!.
Now is the absolute WORST time to visit The DinoResidents are here -- back indoors, so your chances of getting out of here
alive have fallen like stock in the Weinstein Company.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs.
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 16 FEBRUARY 2018 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,323 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
RUSSIANS ORGANIZED TOUR OF CAMPUS, CLAIMS INDICTMENT
Drawer In Kitchen Reoganized
A group of Russians indicted for, among many things, meddling in the arrangement of silverware in the Kretaceous Kitchen were
also behind unguided tours of the Center for Cretaceous Studies campus before the selection of buildings was confirmed, C4CS
prosecutors said Friday, revealing another aspect of Russia’s alleged interference as it worked to sow discord in the
employees here at The Center.
“After the selection, the defendants allegedly walked all over the C4CS campus sowing seeds of discord while simultaneously
staging interest in live dinosaur research,” C4CS Chief of Security Barb Dwyer, a firm believer in accord, said
in a Friday press conference.
“For example, the defendants organized one tour to look closely at tyrannosaurs and another tour to investigate
Velociraptors, both on the same side of the campus on the same day,” she said.
Friday’s indictment filing – signed by Special Counselor Heywood Yabuzov – says the defendants organized
a Nov. 12 “Dinosaur Research is NOT my Preference” rally in C4CS Employee Cafeteria 2. Unfortunately, the
Cafeteria was closed that day for funerals.
Photos from that day show protesters standing in the hallway holding signs that say “stop researching”
and “not my preference.”
C4CS Attorney Gil T. Azell announced indictment of 13 Russian nationals and three Russian janitors for meddling.
On that same day, according to indictment, they also organized a “show your support for live dinosaur research"
rally in Building G. Whatever the reason, it seemed to offset any gains made by the “stop researching”
campaign. Dwyer noted her department personnel are still puzzled by this.
"We're puzzled," she stated.
See? Told ya. The indictment also revealed that the Russians organized a “Employees Against Working In This Dump”
rally on the North side of Building R on Nov. 19. Records indicate a grand total of 2 people showed up, one by mistake. Even
the organizers called in to say they were protesting from the warmth of The Horseshoe Road Inn.
Thirteen Russian nationals were charged Friday. During the unguided tours, according to the filing, the Russians supported
research and worked to spread derogatory information on anti-researcher Clint Hillory.
Their “strategic goal” was to “sow discord in the C4CS research system,” the indictment
Azell, former college trampoline team captain, says The Center can breathe sigh of relief as there is no evidence yet of collusion
between Russia and the Board of Directors or CEO and founder, Dr. S Beckmann.
The indictment – the first filed against Russian nationals since this time last year – effectively returns focus
to the meddling activities of Russia in the run-up to the 2018 tourist season, following a string of charges relating to the
actions of C4CS associates and employees.
The indictment says that in order to conceal that they were based in Russia, the Russians would pretend to be American grassroots
employees who were in the U.S. trying to get jobs in live dinosaur research but unable to meet in person. Stupid as this sounds,
it worked. Many employees claimed the rallies were the "most fun we've had at this dump in weeks!"
Well, we never said it was fun working here.
Read The REAL Story: Indictment reveals Russians also organized anti-Trump rallies after election
HERE IT IS!!!
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER
FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES!!
Most Likely THE BEST Live Dinosaur Research Institution Book Every
Written Without Typohs
NOW you can get your paperback or eBook, the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies from AuthorHouse, Amazon,
or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback only is for sale online from the fine bookstores
listed below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
NO! WAIT!!! CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO C4CS PREVIEW PAGE
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]