for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|TOURIST MISSING, CLAIMS IMMEDIATE FAMILY
|We're Looking As Best We Can
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
The animals [that is, the Dinosaurs, not the staff], are back indoors here in the warm, friendly confines of their Indoor
Paddocks [IPs], of which you are more than welcome to walk around inside and experience these gentle, loving, man-eaters,
up close and personal!
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs. You're
sure we mentioned "biting", right?
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 15 JANUARY 2019 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,323 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
CEO SLAMMED FOR SERVING FAST FOOD TO EMPLOYEES
On At Least 383 Levels"
Former DinoFeeder [7th Class] Reginald Boosh said Monday he thought CEO Dr. S Beckmann’s “American fast food”
spread in celebration of nearly half an hour of no LOL [Loss Of Life] incidents throughout the C4CS campus was a disservice
to what employees had accomplished.
Earlier this month, C4CS scored the nearly 30 minutes of not losing a single employee, defeating the former record of 8 minutes
12 seconds with a final tally of 44 employees unharmed and 16 fainting when the record was shattered.
In a visit to the CEO's office following their accomplishment, Dr. Beckmann told reporters Monday that he foot the bill for
a feast that included “lots of hamburgers” and “lots of pizza.”
"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to save a lot of money by purchasing the cheapest
crap, er, food, that I can get," he said.
But the gesture didn’t sit well with Boosh – who took to Twiddle on the subject around midnight from his hospital
room at CFI Care – saying the Big Shot should’ve done more for the employees.
“Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you guys deserve better, you are champs for working in conditions
like that dump and this is the honor you receive from our leader!?” he tweeted. “This is disrespectful
on so many levels, just a huge slap in the face after that kind of performance! SMH!”
The reception featured stacks of wrapped burgers from Sam & Ella's Diner, as well as boxed burgers pizza from Han's House
of der Pizza. French fries were also available in used cups that bore the C4CS seal. You know, the same seal we all see everyday
in the hallways.
At the time, Center for Cretaceous Studies Press Secretary Kent Shuddup said much of the CEOs staff had been furloughed due
to the ongoing partial C4CS shutdown, "so Dr. Beckmann is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's
favorite fast foods."
Boosh, responding to someone who commented on his original post, later wrote that if he lived in the nation’s capital,
he “would have taken that whole team to dinner at a nice restaurant after seeing this!”
Read The REAL Story: Reggie Bush says Clemsons fast food spread from Trump was disrespectful on so many levels
HERE IT IS!!!
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER
FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES!!
Most Likely THE BEST Live Dinosaur Research Institution Book Every
Written Without Typohs
Need that "perfect" gift for that dinosaur nut case in your life? Well, this is a great ninth or tenth option when
you can't find it. Get your paperback or eBook of the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies from AuthorHouse,
Amazon, or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback only is for sale online from the fine bookstores
listed below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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