for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|SAFEST RESCUE IN HAB48 - SPIN FASTER
|Well Designed Rescue Gets Approval By Board Of Directors
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGY SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
you kidding? how'd THAT happen?!?
Look For CEO, Founder, DR. S BECKMANN On LinkedIn
seriously, why would you do that?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
The animals [that is, the Dinosaurs, not the staff], are outdoors for the remainder of the Summer at Cretaceousland!. So,
you are more than welcome to walk around inside the empty Indoor Paddocks [IPs] while construction and rehab is underway.
Hey, we have to basically rebuild every year. YOU try housing these things indoors and see what kind of damage they can inflict!
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], we have live examples just down
the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs. You're
sure we mentioned "biting", right?
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO, HINTS,
NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
ok, mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 9 JUNE 2019 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,323 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
RESCUE BY CFI LIFE FLIGHT CALLED "ROUTINE"
We Didn't Even KNOW They Had Anything Called 'Routine'
A woman in her 70s was injured during a hike in Cretaceousland! on Tuesday and needed to be airlifted to safety by CFI Life
Flight helicopter. But the rescue didn’t go according to Plan A. Or B. Or, for that matter, C through G.
“Sometimes when we bring the helicopter up from the ground, [the basket] will start to spin,” noted CFI
Life Flight chopper pilot Brad Landing, at a press conference, on Wednesday. “We have a line attached to the basket
that’s supposed to prevent that. Today it didn’t. We counted about 1,500 RPM on that basket! It was pretty wild.”
Indeed, the basket began spinning wildly and with increasing speed it kept the nearby carnivores away. C4CS spokesman Kent
Shuddup explained that the animals "don't want to get bonked on the head by a spinning rescue basket any more than you
or I do."
“They [the DinoResidents] tried to stop some of the spin that Brad was referring to, but that didn’t work
and the animals eventually kept a safe distance away from the chopper,” said Landon Gear, CFI spokesman.
The pilots attempted to lower the basket, which slowed the spin, but as it neared the ground, several unidentified carnivores
- several thought to be Greater Carnivores [those weighing over one ton each] quickly approached before the Life Flight crew
brought it back up again - and the spin returned. Eventually, they were able to transport the unidentified woman to safety.
She suffered a facial laceration, wrist and hip injuries and possibly a missing leg while hiking inside the live DinoResident
Habitat. According to CFI Care, the spinning rescue only left her vomiting like there was no tomorrow, plus her hair was a
None of the rescuers inside the Life Flight helicopter were injured. Two on the ground are still missing and presumed MPE
[Missing, Presumed Eaten].
Spokesman Shuddup said the potential for spinning is a “known phenomenon” but "we don't charge anything
extra for that fun ride." During 210 rescues over the past six days in the area, it happened just thirty-nine times.
“It’s not something that’s inherent to the basket or inherent to the bag,” he said. “It’s
just something that is really funny to watch and we tell our visitors to deal with it.”
Read The REAL Story: Dizzying Airlift Turns Hikers Rescue Into The Theme Park Ride From Hell
HERE IT IS!!!
GET THE INSIDE STORY OF THE CENTER
FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES!!
Most Likely THE BEST Live Dinosaur Research Institution Book Every
Written Without Typohs
Need that "perfect" gift for that dinosaur nut case in your life? Well, this is a great ninth or tenth option when
you can't find it. Get your paperback or eBook of the aptly titled The Center for Cretaceous Studies from AuthorHouse,
Amazon, or Barnes & Noble! If you're on this site then we're pretty sure you know what kind of book to expect.
Where can you get it? Search no more!
An eBook is available exclusively from the AuthorHouse site. The paperback only is for sale online from the fine bookstores
listed below. Just type in 'Center for Cretaceous Studies' when you get there:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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