for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MANY TOURISTS
|Gotta Watch Those Blood Sugar Levels, Also
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
why would you want to do THAT?!?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], usually* we have live examples just
down the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
*NOTE: The term "usually" as applied here means, or could mean, there are times [plural] when
perhaps not all the DinoResidents are, y'know, where they should be. [See "DINOALERT!" elsewhere]
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs. You're
sure we mentioned that "biting" thing before, right?
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-whats. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
ANCIENT NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 11 JUNE 2023 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,327 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
CENTER ADVISES EMPLOYEES AGAINST PLEA DEAL
Reason Is: They're Guilty
Center for Cretaceous Studies lawyers said Sunday they advises against a plea deal in the classified document case that led
to an indictment.
"I know, I would never advise that, especially when they've done everything wrong. You take a plea deal to make something
go away," C4CS Attorney Bud Uronner told the gathered press in Media Room 1 yesterday. "There's already an admission
of guilt. They would never admit they did something correct or right. Because there was nothing right in taking company documents,
taking secret documents with you."
Special Counsel Gil T. Azell unsealed the indictment Friday against 3 former C4CS employees, which included 37 counts such
as willful retention of company information, conspiracy to sell company secret information on eBay, and false statements.
The indictment claims the employees not only kept classified documents at their residences but shared them with others on
two occasions in 2021.
"The classified documents stored in boxes included information regarding dinosaur DNA; C4CS cooking programs; potential
vulnerabilities of the Perimeter Fences; and plans for possible mass exodus of "prehistoric animals"," the indictment
states. "The unauthorized disclosure of these classified documents could put at risk the security of the Center for Cretaceous
Studies, employee and vendor relations, the safety of the surrounding area, and human sources and the continued viability
of sensitive dinosaur intelligence collection methods."
Azell said the three former employees have a "strong defense" because as employees, they had the power to take documents
home with them. He noted that CEO and founder, Dr. S Beckmann did not have this power in regard to classified documents found
at his residences.
"An indictment is a one-sided document," noted Uronner. "They have a defense — the defense is sorta real.
And we'll take on that defense soon."
The FBI raided The Center's Building A in August and obtained an extensive list of classified documents. None of the agents
were ever hear of again.
Read the REAL story: Trump's lawyer says she advises against plea deal in classified doc case
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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