for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|MANDATORY COMPANY EXERCISES PROVING EVENTFUL
|One Of The Bad Circumstances Of Keeping Live Dinosaurs
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
why would you want to do THAT?!?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], usually* we have live examples just
down the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
*NOTE: The term "usually" as applied here means, or could mean, there are times [plural] when
perhaps not all the DinoResidents are, y'know, where they should be. [See "DINOALERT!" elsewhere]
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs. You're
sure we mentioned that "biting" thing before, right?
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-whats. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
ANCIENT NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
mostly just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 29 JANUARY 2023 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,327 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
EMPLOYEE GOES BERSERK AFTER BITE
Have Been DinoAlert! Says Coworker Who Really Just Wanted To Go Home
Center for Cretaceous Studies Indoor Paddock [IP]65 DinoHandler LeBarry Jaines was furious with C4CS officials on Wednesday
Sometime near 1:05am between his last break time and end of shift, with about 4 seconds left before going home, Jaines went
to his company vehicle and drove down the lane toward the C4CS Human Resources in Building A. Jaines was surrounded by three
DinoResidents when he arrived and went up to the front door, opening it with his left hand when it appeared he was bit on
the arm by an unknown mid-size species.
Jaines missed the next day at work and there was no foul play, according to C4CS Security. The IP65 superstar was beside himself
over the no-call and fell to the floor in disbelief.
At one point, Security came over to his house with a camera to show the DinoHandler what he missed. He then received a technical
citation for Job Well Done, the 185th-highest honor a C4CS employee can receive.
The DinoHandler would go on to work overtime during the remainder of the week and would come away with a big check for the
Jaines worked nearly 44 minutes in a row on Friday. He spent 41 minutes each time on nine breaks and eight lunch periods that
day alone. Other IP65 employees added 15 minutes of actual work, five breaks, five lunches and two hours of watching TV in
the employee break room.
IP65 Crew Chief Erin Louis admitted after a meeting with Security that they should have brought doughnuts with sprinkles on
them instead of glazed.
Read the REAL story: LeBron James goes berserk after missed foul call, Patrick Beverley gets technical foul for showing ref
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]