for CRETACEOUS STUDIES
THE WORLD LEADER IN LIVE
And All The Crap Associated With Them
|"LARGE ANIMAL" CLOSES EMERGENCY EXIT ROAD 73
|Same Thing As Last Thursday
THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES
why would you want to do THAT?!?
|Charter Member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Dinosaurs Since Last Week
the Center for Cretaceous Studies [C4CS] LIVE Dinosaur research institution website.
Here at the Center for Cretaceous Studies we often research and sometimes study
the unstudied and unresearched aspects of Dinosaur life, both past and present. That is, when we're not attending the funerals
of those doing that unstudied and unresearched stuff. However, as the ONLY research institute in the world with eating,
biting, living, biting, breathing, biting, carnivorous Dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period [wait, did we mention biting?], usually* we have live examples just
down the hall, so eh, what do we care if we discover something in fossils or not?
*NOTE: during the Summer months [like, right now] we keep the DinoResidents at our outdoor DinoReserve and theme park: Cretaceousland!.
Our record is incomparable to any other live Dinosaur research institute on Earth. Not because our "residents" are actually
live, meat-eating Dinosaurs, but mostly because we are the only ones stupid enough to house live, meat-eating Dinosaurs. You're
sure we mentioned "biting", right?
Our unofficial motto: "Museums Are Nice, But We Have Them LIVE", remains our unofficial motto to this
day, mostly because we don't want to be sued by Universal Studios or that Spielberg guy. Then again we thought it was slightly
better than our previous motto: "You're Probably Going To Die Here".
Set on a gorgeous college campus-like setting, our Dinosaur research facility would be on the cover of Better Homes & Gardens
if not for the... well, you-know-what's. This research institution, located southwest of Chicago, Illinois, is home to over
158 species* - we think - and probably growing every year, for all we know.
*Note: Most of our DinoCensus volunteers have never returned, so we're kinda guessing
site on your Favorites or Bucket List as company news and information [below] is updated nearly every weekend - or as long
as someone is still around [alive] to write.
You don't want to miss any of the 'adventures'... specially if for some insane reason you actually plan to visit us
some day. Thanks for looking, and we hope to see you here soon!
Proof of life insurance, next of kin contact information, and blood type on separate piece
of paper [in case the original is eaten] are required before admission will be granted.
|CEO DR. BECKMANN RUINS ANOTHER COUPLE DINODIGS
|Over The Years Dr. Beckmann Has Dug Up Many Ounces Of Bones- Some Of Them Belong To Dinosaurs!
| THE WEEK IN REVIEW BUZZ
QUESTIONABLE FACTS, INNUENDO,
ANCIENT NEWS, RUMORS AND GOSSIP...
just rumors and gossip,
DIRECT FROM tC4CS WATER COOLER
LAST UPDATED 25 SEPTEMBER 2021 A.D.
AKA: 66,005,325 YEARS AFTER "THE ANCIENTS" KICKED THE BUCKET
CENTER DENIES EMPLOYEE REQUEST TO NOT WORK DUE TO RELIGION
Be Transferred To T. Rex Habitat
The Center for Cretaceous Studies Board of Director [we only have one following yesterday's Board of Directors vs. 8 Bicentenairia
argentina "incident"] has denied Indoor Paddock 39 DinoHandler Andy Waggins’ request for a religious exemption so
he could bypass working inside a live DinoResident IP.
As a result, Waggins will be ineligible to eat at the C4CS Employee Cafeteria unless he gets back to work, according to the
"The C4CS has reviewed and denied Andy Waggins' request for a religious exemption from working with live prehistoric, man-eating,
wild, carnivoristic animals," the Board said in a statement.
The C4CS Mental Health Department said Friday that all employees who work at The Center and Cretaceousland! are required to
be sane or somewhat sane.
"At large and Greater Carnivore IPs, all employees must be working once they are hired," the department’s statement
said. "Under the current order, if not working, they cannot enter indoor eating areas regardless of the reason they are
non-working and cannot test out of this requirement even if they have a medical or religious exemption."
The Center is requiring Supervisors, DinoFeeders, DinoHandlers and others affiliated with the care of our animals to actually
work once they punch in for the day.
Cretaceousland! has a similar requirement and the Board of Director announced Friday that all of its employees have been reporting
for work as usual, which is unusual.
Read The REAL Story: NBA denies Andrew Wiggins request for religious exemption to vaccine; won't play Warriors' home games
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! LINK (CLICK HERE)!
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A division of Beckmann Scientific [BS]